From Geoff
My brother wrote this.
The world abounds with phrases, sayings, and quasi-philosophical remarks as to how to deal with the loss of a loved one. Ever since Cain and Abel, humanity has tried to grasp our own mortality and cope with its reality. Most of have lost somebody- everybody before us has lost somebody. "The sweet wouldn't be as sweet without the sour." "Only after you've seen darkness can you appreciate the light." "He's in a better place now." None of it means anything when you're holding him in his arms and saying "It isn't fair." It doesn't help to know that other people have lost loved ones or that things will get better. Better parents couldn't exist. A more beautiful boy couldn't be born. Everything was done right- carefully. Nothing could be changed. Nothing could have been more carefully watched but he's gone. It's not fair to know that drug addicts, uncaring parents, and others can have a child but a loving, caring, perfect family cannot. All of this, and I'm not complaining. None of this is a complaint. I got to hold him. I got to talk with him. Sean and Nicole got to tell him stories, give him advice, and be the best parents a little boy could ever have. He was only with us for a few days but in those few days, he had more love, more affection, more care and devotion than many people experience in an exponentially longer lifespan. Aiden's life was short but beautiful. 4 1/2 days wasn't enough. But it was something. Loss hurts and that's part of life. Don't deny the fact that it tears you up inside. If you never touch it, it will never make you stronger. He had a good life and we helped make sure of that. He is still loved and he is still in our hearts. There are scads of photos and memories. The only trite phrase that pertains to this situation of which I actually approve is "Life goes on." And it does. Longer for some than for others but it goes on. What matters is if you look at this loss as a source of anger, bitterness, strife, joy, knowledge, or power. It can be all of them. But pick what you like and keep it. Use it. Just because he isn't laying in his crib doesn't mean he's not with us. He's with his parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and he's with you. He will be missed. He will be loved. And most importantly- he will be remembered.
Always.
