My brother wrote this.

The world abounds with phrases, sayings, and quasi-philosophical remarks as to how to deal with the loss of a loved one. Ever since Cain and Abel, humanity has tried to grasp our own mortality and cope with its reality. Most of have lost somebody- everybody before us has lost somebody. “The sweet wouldn’t be as sweet without the sour.” “Only after you’ve seen darkness can you appreciate the light.” “He’s in a better place now.” None of it means anything when you’re holding him in his arms and saying “It isn’t fair.” It doesn’t help to know that other people have lost loved ones or that things will get better. Better parents couldn’t exist. A more beautiful boy couldn’t be born. Everything was done right- carefully. Nothing could be changed. Nothing could have been more carefully watched but he’s gone. It’s not fair to know that drug addicts, uncaring parents, and others can have a child but a loving, caring, perfect family cannot. All of this, and I’m not complaining. None of this is a complaint. I got to hold him. I got to talk with him. Sean and Nicole got to tell him stories, give him advice, and be the best parents a little boy could ever have. He was only with us for a few days but in those few days, he had more love, more affection, more care and devotion than many people experience in an exponentially longer lifespan. Aiden’s life was short but beautiful. 4 1/2 days wasn’t enough. But it was something. Loss hurts and that’s part of life. Don’t deny the fact that it tears you up inside. If you never touch it, it will never make you stronger. He had a good life and we helped make sure of that. He is still loved and he is still in our hearts. There are scads of photos and memories. The only trite phrase that pertains to this situation of which I actually approve is “Life goes on.” And it does. Longer for some than for others but it goes on. What matters is if you look at this loss as a source of anger, bitterness, strife, joy, knowledge, or power. It can be all of them. But pick what you like and keep it. Use it. Just because he isn’t laying in his crib doesn’t mean he’s not with us. He’s with his parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles and he’s with you. He will be missed. He will be loved. And most importantly- he will be remembered.
Always.

There will be a Memorial Service for Aiden Thomas on Wednesday, December 22nd at 6:15pm. The service will be held at Fourth Presbyterian Church in Downtown Chicago. If you feel that you would like to do something in Aiden’s honor, we are asking that any donations be made to the Greater Chicago Chapter of the Arthritis Foundation.
We have also posted some more pictures on the photos page.

We have posted photos of Aiden on the Photos page.

Aiden Thomas passed away on December 15th, 2004. He was 5 days old. They were the 5 hardest, most beautiful days of our lives.
We would like to thank everyone who has expressed their love for all of us, and who made his short life so full. The support, love and prayers that we have recieved have been more than we could ask for.
If you would like to do something in honor of Aiden, we are asking that any donations be made to The Arthritis Foundation.
We will post pictures, and more information soon.

On Friday morning Nicole woke with back pain and cramps, we called the midwife, and suspected it was early labor, although there was no coming and going of the pain, like you would expect from contractions. After giving it some time, and a few calls back and forth whith the midwife with updates, she decided that we should come in and see how things were progressing. We met the midwife at her office at 10:00am, at that time she did some fetal monitoring and got a very low heartrate, at which time she said we needed to go to the hospital right away (the hospital is attached to the office) When we got to Labor and Delivery, they confirmed the low heartrate and decided to do an emergency C-Section. At 10:46am Aiden was born. Due to placental seperation, his blood gasses were very low and he had no heartbeat, they were able to revive him very quickly, and he is now in the Infant Special Care Unit. They are still monitoring him and he is on a respirator. They have performed an MRI and will have the full results from that and other tests tomorrow morning. At this time there is not a lot that they are able to determine. Nicole is doing well. She is up and about and eating well.
We would like to express our apprecition to the entire staff of Labor and Delivery, as well as the Infant Special Care Unit and all of the Nursing staff at the women’s hospital.
I will probably not update again, at least untill Nicole comes home (most likely tuesday.) Please keep Aiden in your thoughts and prayers in the upcoming weeks as he recovers from an exciting entry to the world and we see what the future holds for him. Thank you.

Aiden Thomas Evans was delivered by emergency C-section at 10:46am December 10th 2004. He weighed 7lb 14oz, was 21 inches long and is in Intensive Care right now. Mama is doing just fine. Geoff posted this one and Sean will be posting more information when he comes home in the next day or two.

Okay, so I have been a slacker. I have not updated this page in awhile.

We had another appointment today. Actually we have had one every week for the last month. Everything has been going very well other than my ankles have been swelling up like balloons. This is slightly concerning my midwife because it can be an indicator of preeclampsia, but I have no other indicators (blood pressure rising, vision problems, extraordinary fatigue, chest pain) and it does go away if I am off my feet for a day.

Our baby shower was fun. We have good food (took half a cake home and then took most of it to work the next day.). Got lots of great stuff and had a generally good time. Oddly this was the first night that my ankles swelled really badly and they have continued to since (see above).

We have had two ultrasounds since I last posted. The pictures at this point aren’t great you can only see one part at a time and most are very hard to identify even if you know what you are looking at. He is growing at a consistent rate and was estimated to weigh 7.5 lbs. at the ultrasound on November 30. That means probably about an 8 lb. baby by the due date give or take a pound.

I had the flu over Thanksgiving, but that did not keep me from gaining 2.5 pounds that week. However this week I had lost that 2.5 lbs. again so I am at a total of 11 lbs. gained over my prepregnancy weight.

This weight loss prompted my midwife to do an internal exam today because she says that many women lose weight their last appointment before they go into labor. I am at 0 station, 80% effaced and a fingertip dilated. This is good since I have been having lots of painless contractions everyday and probably 8-10 that I can feel in my back along with a bit of crampiness in the abdomen. Two weeks ago when she did my Group B Strep test (which was negative) she did an internal as well. At that time I was at -1 station, cervix softened a bit and no dilation. As we were leaving she said she would see us next week if not sooner. This is the first time she has sounded as if she believed that there may not be a next weeks appointment. I am okay with this because next weeks appointment is scheduled for the day after my due date.

I think that catches up all of the slacking I have done. Hopefully the next post will be made from the hospital announcing his arrival.

We’ve prepared some documents to take to the hospital with us… two are signs, one is our birthplan, and one is a contraction tracking worksheet. They are all in PDF format. Hopefully people may find them useful.
Birth Plan
Contraction Tracking sheet
Do Not Disturb
Learning to Breastfeed